The Inside Scoop

Comments made on this blog are those of the writer and do not reflect the views of the EFHL, the League Manager, or any of the teams. This article is meant to garner laughs, gasps, and orgasms. Ok, well, laughs and gasps. Orgasms optional.  Welcome to the 3rd edition of Housekeeping - a look at the off-season for teams that have been eliminated from the EFHL Playoffs. We continue with the team currently sitting in a tie for second last place, the Roswell Invaders. *** Reader Discretion is advised. Gratuitous language and attempts at shock humor to follow *** SEASON RECAP One of the on-paper favorites heading into this year, the Roswell Invaders looked stacked. They had the top 2 goalies according to Dobberhockey in Braden Holtby (who they paid a heavy price to acquire) and Cam Talbot. They had essentially the entire top of the Defense list in Karlsson, Hedman, Klingberg and Gostisbehere, and they had enough talent up front that a quick look at the team suggested a ...

Comments made on this blog are those of the writer and do not reflect the views of the EFHL, the League Manager, or any of the teams. This article is meant to garner laughs, gasps, and orgasms. Ok, well, laughs and gasps. Orgasms optional.  Welcome to the 2nd edition of Housekeeping - a look at the off-season for teams that have been eliminated from the EFHL Playoffs. We continue with the team currently sitting in second last place, the Glasgow Wolves. *** Reader Discretion is advised. Gratuitous language and attempts at shock humor to follow *** SEASON RECAP After an off-season move overseas and a complete linguistics overhaul for their team, the former French Wolves iced more or less the same team as last season, to more or less the same results. This is a team with some solid parts, but more of the status quo is likely in the cards unless some moves are made this offseason. For starters, they will need to make better use of their first round pick, as after they were f...

Holy. Fucking. Hell. What the fuck happened yesterday? The day started off normal, and since we'd had a few "busy" days this week with 8 trades, you'd think the boys in the league would have spewed all their trade-juice all over each other and it would quiet down again, perhaps until closer to the trade deadline. If you thought that, then you're dumber than an inbred piece of trailer trash from Kentucky (Hi Maw!) and deserve to be taken out to the back of the woodshed and treated like a squealing little piggy. SQUEAL PIGGY! On February 15th alone, we had 9 (!) trades involving 33 players and 21 picks. Much like the NHL, you fuckers probably just ruined the actual Trade Deadline by blowing your collective loads all over the place early. It all started when those damn pothead hippies in BC decided to ship Sven Bartchi Bertchi Swedish-Name, a 9th and a 19th to Ottawa for Bust-in-the-Making Dal Colle (5th overall 3 years ago and still with only 4 games to his ...

Comments made on this blog are those of the writer and do not reflect the views of the EFHL, the League Manager, or any of the teams. This article is meant to garner laughs, gasps, and orgasms. Ok, well, laughs and gasps. Orgasms optional.  Welcome to the 1st edition of Housekeeping - a look at the off-season for teams that have been eliminated from the EFHL Playoffs. We start with the team currently sitting in last place, the Las Vegas Vagabonds. *** Reader Discretion is advised. Gratuitous language and attempts at shock humor to follow *** SEASON RECAP After a strong finish last year, the Royals moved to Sin City, where their season went to shit about as fast as a country music festival. (Oh, the last guy used that joke already? Fuck him... What a douche.) Ok, fine... they season was as good as the music AT a country music festival. We can all agree that's pretty bad, yeah? There. In fact, they only won 2 games. They beat BC in week 1, but we can all assume that the B...